This skill sets successful introverts apart from most other people.

There’s a common misconception that introverts need to emulate stereotypical extroverted personalities to be successful: Be upfront, always raise your hand, and order a room.

But the most successful introverts progress by avoiding these situations altogether and creating environments where they can contribute more comfortably, says Jevonya Allen, a self-described introvert and author of “The Introvert’s Guide to Becoming a Master Networker.”

“If you know you prefer smaller environments, you might not want to apply for a job at a big company,” Allen says. “If you’re on a team and you notice they expect you to talk, you might want to talk to your boss about how you can put your thoughts in writing. [instead].”

The concept is applicable in almost all workplaces and most everyday situations. The most daunting part might be withdrawing from extrovert-friendly situations without bothering anyone else, Allen says.

At work, you can ease the pressure by having a private conversation with your manager. Allen’s advice: come prepared with clear examples of situations you would like to avoid, how you would like to contribute instead, and why it will make you both happier and more productive.

Preparing these details in advance can make all the difference. “We [introverts] first have to understand how we present ourselves,” says Allen. “Then you can adapt your environment accordingly. That’s what helps us thrive.”

You can also use a similar strategy to navigate social situations more easily.

Take former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who found events and social gatherings got on her nerves and annoyed her naturally shy demeanor, she said. vogue in 2013.

Before landing the Yahoo role in 2012, the start of a contentious five-year run at the helm of the company, Mayer developed a tactic to keep himself from running away from rooms full of strangers. “I’ll literally look at my watch and say, ‘You can’t leave until X time. And if you’re still having a terrible time at X time, you can leave,'” she said.

For those who need help figuring out how to adapt other parts of their life in a more introvert-friendly way, Allen has a simple recommendation: “Do some of these online personality tests.”

Specifically, she recommends the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for anyone wanting to gauge how introverted they are, and a DiSC assessment if you want help determining the best way to communicate with people who are close to you. surround.

Notably, the scientific validity of both tests has been hotly contested over the years. In this context, you’re just using the results as an information tool, Allen says — data points that can help you determine the best path forward.

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