As a professional tennis coach, a beloved reality TV star, and an absolute hunk, one might argue that former Bachelor Joey Graziadei doesn’t really need to add more items to his resume. Most guys I know would happily accept that lot and coast on their newfound C-list fame while celebrating their engagement, but not Joey. As promised during his Bachelor season finale, our favorite leading man returned to our screens on Thursday night, showing off a new skill. He staged his acting debut in a very funny episode of 9-1-1.
When FOX’s bonkers first-responder drama moved to ABC, showrunner Tim Minear promised fans a crossover event. Naturally, however, he refrained from telling us which other show would feature. Then, we got that miraculous teaser.
In terms of details, this teaser gave us basically nothing. My anticipation, however, was through the roof. Would Joey be playing a character who just happens to share his love for a maroon suit, or would he appear as himself? Would any of his contestants make it onto the show, or would he be surrounded by actresses wearing Revolve? And just how much screen time would Joey get on what was sure to become the most dramatic episode of 9-1-1 ever!
It turns out, Joey was playing himself, but the contestants were fictional characters. There was “Angelique,” a 24-year-old podcast producer from Portland, Oregon; Ashley A., a 23-year-old Californian flight attendant who fittingly asked Joey if he believes in “love at first flight,” and Ashley C., a dental hygienist from Orlando who prompted a polite but exhausted “great, another Ashley” from Joey. Right after another contestant got out of a limo and set loose about 100 tennis balls (which I’m surprised no one tried during Joey’s real season) host Jesse Palmer made a quick cameo to check on our Bachelor. Then, the action began.
When the final limo pulled up, something was clearly amiss. It was driving too fast. The tires were screeching. The woman who stepped out introduced herself as “Conchata” but seemed nervous—like she wasn’t sure of her own name. By the time the producers realized she was not, in fact, Conchata, she was already hard at work super-gluing herself to the Bachelor Mansion driveway. Time to call an ambulance!
Dispatchers Maddie (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Josh (Bryan Safi) struggle to contain their excitement while fielding Jesse’s phone call. Meanwhile, “Conchata”—real name, Bailey—screeches, “Get off me! I’m here for the right reasons!” Classic.
Joey’s role in all of this is small but important. 9-1-1 makes a meal out of letting each character freak out when they realize that Joey is the next Bachelor. After all, in this universe, that’s still breaking news. Our leading man seems about as bewildered by everything happening around him as he was that time during his season’s blooper reel when he realized he can’t properly pronounce the word “Minneapolis.” (Remember that? God, that was a good season.) While his contestants hit on the first responders as a back-up plan, he plays the perfect innocent Bachelor who does his best to comfort a very crazed fan. While the paramedics try to figure out how to get Bailey off the driveway, he wipes a single tear from her face with his thumb. Swoon.
Louis Ferrigno Jr., Ryan Guzman
ABC
When the first responders can’t dissolve the glue, they resort to a jackhammer and wheel Bailey onto the ambulance so that doctors can peel her off the block at the hospital. (If only 9-1-1 were set in Seattle and not Los Angeles, we could’ve followed her onto Grey’s Anatomy!) At the same time, Howie (Kenneth Choi) finds the real Conchata in the back of the limo. She’s apparently been chloroformed. And with that, it was time to move on to another case!
Joey’s appearance was short but memorable. His opening with all the fictional women felt as believable as the real thing, and all in all, he did a great job with the wisely limited role 9-1-1 gave him as a novice. As the story wrapped up, Bailey shouted out, “Come visit me in prison!” Joey understandably asked Jesse Palmer, “Do I have to?” Answer: “I would not.” You know what they say: All is fair in love and dating shows.